Girl's Battle: INSECURITY.

by - 11:48:00 AM

oo. ako na ang feeler. LOL


I am created for God's pleasure.
-Psalms 149:4

The truth from him:

Dear Daughter,

Before the beginning of time I knew you. I knew what color of your eyes would be, and I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud Father who carries a picture of his daughter, I carried the image of you in my eyes, for you were created in my image before the beginning of time, I chose you. I spoke your name into the heavens, and I smiled as it's melody resounded off the walls of my heart.

You are mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky and deeper than any ocean. You are my pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of my hand. I love you even in the face of  your failure. Nothing you say or do can cause me to stop loving you. I am relentless in my pursuit of you. Run from me, I will love you. Spurn me, I will love you. Reject yourself, I will love you. You see, my love for you was slain before the foundations of the world and I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you in the CALVARY.

When I see every part of who you are, I marvel at the work of my hands, for I whispered words of longing and desire and you came into existence. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND I TAKE PLEASURE IN YOU... heart, mind, and body. You are my desire. When you turn your head in shame and despise what I have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. You are my beloved.

Your Dad,

God.

(Authors adaptation from 1 John 3:2; Isaiah 43:1; Matthew 13:46, Ephesians 1:4; Revelation 13:8; Psalms 149:4; Song of Solomon 7:10; 6:3)

From the book "Who Calls Me Beautiful" - Regina Franklin

Yeah. I looked all over for this. Good thing I remembered I posted this one way back on my multiply account. 

The main goal is to talk about INSECURITY. Most of the time, this is where cat fights starts. Indeed this has been always a girls battle. 

This time I will be talking about my own battle. 

I came to a point of obsession. Hindi ako obsessed dahil mahal ko yung tao. Obsessed ako dahil sobrang naiinsecure ako sa kanya. I stalked, I even dream of her. I haven't even seen her in person. She's younger than me and what led me to my obsession was my partner that time. She (yes SHE) was fooling  around and cheating on me with her. I've done everything, inaway ko na at nagmakaawa nako, it didn't work. Even if they weren't official what hurts me most is the fact that she loves her more than she loved me. She can't leave her. That made me think, anong kulang ko? 

When I moved on eventually, insecurity grew in my heart. Kahit na natigil na yung obsession ko with that girl, andun yung thought na, AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH? I am always into cat fights. And I don't admit that I am really insecure. Lagi kong dinedeny yun. Naging defense mechanism ko yung naiinis ako pag may kapareho ako. I even remember, I was super pissed when I saw a picture of my ex's girl wearing the same dress and the same  accessories. I also got into a fight with a friend just because of a pose same as mine. SOBRANG IMMATURE LAMANG! I admit that. The latest fight I had was with my very closest friends. It was a hard time. Insults here, insults there. Their words were like a stabbing knife to my chest. And I believe I hurt them too. Umanghang din ang dila ko eh. Well, that ended when I stopped responding but the damage has been done. We can't restore the friendship anymore. And it all started and never ended because of INSECURITY. Whether on my part or their part, no one would admit. 


Yes. Insecurity kills. It is deadly. Consuming. It will hurt you, beat you to death. It will ruin you inside and out. It will break you and your relationships. WE BADLY NEED TO WIN THIS BATTLE LADIES!

When they said, "Walang gamot sa insecurity!" Would you agree? 

No. There is.

LOVE YOURSELF. But never overdo. But LOVE GOD FIRST, then yourself. 

Love yourself in God's way. Hope you've meditated carefully in that letter I posted above.  Take it by heart and you will be healed. You just have to acknowledge that you are special in His eyes. It lifted me up. He lifted me up. 

I may not be as pretty as Anne Curtis, or sexy as Jessica Alba, or rich as Paris Hilton but God made me realize that I am beautiful in my way. I have my talent enough to please Him. Enough to inspire people. Enough to treat myself special. And that's one of the things I am so much thankful. Well, yes. As human, insecurity still visits me sometimes. But as a child of God, I can easily overcome. I just have to remind myself that I am His beloved. 

One thing God gave me was the will to admit my mistakes and be humble. So I would like to take this opportunity to say sorry to those people I have hurt in the past. To Lara and Yhads, I am really, really sorry. For the things I've said, I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. 


Posted Aug. 27, '07. sunshine20.multiply.com
(excuse me for the sticky caps, jejemon pala ako before. hehe.)



..liTtLe guRLs dReaM, aNd LittLE girLs gROw uP. tHe dEePesT loNgiNg oF mY gRown-Up heaRt iS tO bE kNown aS a wOmaN of GOD.


..bEyOnd drEamS aNd iLLusioNs oF cHiLdhOod, tHErE's thE ONe WHO CALLS ME BEAUTIFUL. HiS vOicE neVEr faLters, neVer ceaSes eVEn wHEn i cOntinUe mY chiLdhOod gaMes, eVen whEn i keEp listEniNg tO thE vOicEs oTheR tHAn HIS.


..mAny tiMEs i haVe sTePped iN fRonT oF tHE miRrOr aND hOpeD to diScOveR mY tRue seLf, aS if tHe gLasS haD tHE pOweR tO rEvEAL whO i aM. tHEre is oNly oNe pLAce, tHouGh, wheRe i caN fiNd mY tRue reFlecTioN. tHe eYes oF mY CREATOR, mY FATHER GOD, reFLecT tHe aNsweRs to mY dEEpEst lOngiNgs fOR seLf woRth, mY dESirES tO bE kNown."


- REGINA FRANKLIN

Thank You God for the wisdom.


Let go and let God. 


God bless you and me. 


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2 comments

  1. Hey. I'm a guy and I think you don't have anything to be insecure about. You're beautiful and what makes you more is this realization. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow. thanks. coming from a guy it's flattering. =))

    ReplyDelete

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