Trying to make it through the pain of one more day without you...

by - 11:10:00 PM

This needs an arrangement. This is how my thought goes every second. Whatever pops out on my mind I’m going to write it here. I just needed to spill it out or else I’ll end up jumping off on a 7th floor building. So forgive me if its not in order.

I wish I’d never wake up. I just got used to waking up beside you and every time I open my eyes and you’re not there, felt like my heart is stabbed a million times. If I could just put into words how painful it is. We’ve been together for two years and now it’s over… Tell me now, how am I suppose to live with it? We share the same cup of coffee every morning. I can’t even stare at my coffee cup now. We share one toothbrush (people may think it’s gross, but I find it sweet.) And every where I go, every where I look, things around me reminds me of you. Cause we’ve been to all places together. I got memories of you every where. I have been crying since that day I left. And now I feel so lost. It doesn’t feel like home anywhere. Even if I’m with them, my family… I don’t feel at home. Anywhere WITH YOU is my home. I don’t miss one second of thinking what you have been doing. I ‘d like to ask you one question, how we’re you able to forget about me just like that? I wanted so much to go to you today and have lunch with you just like what we always do but I just have to stop myself from doing that since I know you you’re not gonna show up if you knew I’m outside waiting for you. I miss you so much. It’s wrapping me like a cold wind, it makes me shiver. I needed to know what you’re thinking. I needed to know if we’re gonna be fine. I needed to know if you still love me, and what makes my heart hopeful is that you never said you don’t love me anymore but you never said you love me either. I wish I could do something to make myself feel better. BUT EVERYDAY it becomes worst. I felt like dying slowly. Oh God I wish you could kill me instead. I’m not that strong enough for this pain. It’s just unbearable. If I could have one last chance, I’ll do anything to make this work. Just give me one last chance to make it up to you. Whatever it takes, I’ll keep us together.

I have to end this. Or I’m gonna make this cafe flooded with tears.

till next random thoughts about you!!!!!

Watching us fade, what can I do? But try to make it through the pain of one more day.. WITHOUT YOU.

Now here it comes the hardest part of all. Unchain my heart that’s holding on… How do I start to live my life alone?Guess I’m just learning the art of letting go.

-The Art of Letting Go. Mikaela

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